Goodness not Guilt 2.27.13
I’ve been thinking about the what a gift it is to be able to learn from my own choices. Along those lines, I feel much more inclined to do something if I’ve chosen it (as opposed to feeling obligated to it). I think this has to do with the freedom of my soul. The trouble is, Christianity has been around for quite a while and at this point there are an awful lot of things that I can feel obliged to add to my life in my efforts to seek the Savior. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by the (missed) opportunities that I begin to feel resentful and frustrated because it seems impossible to keep up with all the things I “need” to be doing or “should” be doing to be close to Him. Doubtless there are essentials that form the bedrock of our personal relationships with Him but it’s easy to tack on a bunch of extra things that can really burden us during certain seasons of our lives. I wonder if that’s the biggest ploy that the adversary has, making our ascent to the Savior feel obligatory instead of voluntary. Because an forced approach feels different than a voluntary approach. And with Him, it has always been voluntary. So many of the connections I make with Him happen in simple, everyday moments where I’m earnestly trying to be present in whatever I’m doing. I end up seeing Him in a creation or a connection or in the face of someone else. He says over and over again, that we simply have to desire Him, seek Him and He will be there. The more I feel the drag of all the things I should or need to do to approach Him, the more I feel like it’s this future, distant goal and I will never get there. But He’s always ready to be found in whatever moment we’re in right?