Jessica on Steroids

is quite a sight. Yesterday she was off the wall-literally. She was climbing up furniture on one side of the room, crawling to something else and pulling up on that. She was dancing while she nursed….that was interesting for both of us. It was crazy. It got to the point where I started to get scared because she was acting so agitated. I eventually called the doctor (because he was on call this weekend) and he assured me that it’s the Xopenex she’s taking (that’s the stuff in the nebulizer) and he said if she’s not wheezing I don’t need to give it to her. She didn’t have as many doses today and she was only a little antsy. It’s scary to see her come down from it, she gets these purple shadows under her eyes and her skin is clammy. Ugh. It’s no fun to have a sick little baby.

I started a long update the other day but I decided to summarize instead…it’s still kinda long.

Friday: Baby still wheezing, doing a little better. Doctor wanted to admit her to the hospital. I reiterated that she had improved a little and I had about a million reasons for not wanting to go the hospital. I only hoped that my reticence at the idea was enough. He determined that since her chest xray came back clear I could keep monitoring her at home with the understanding that the minute she worsened I would call them to have her admitted.

Friday afternoon & Saturday: I was a wreck. I hated having to practically lay on her to get her to stay still while Ritchie gave her one of her 7 medications. We’ve come up with some really good (and really ineffective) ways to hide medicine in food. I don’t know if I’ve ever appreciated Ritchie as much as I’ve appreciated him this weekend. I was re-evaluating her condition ever 3 breaths and my spirits plummeted when there was a hint of a wheeze. Nerve-wracking only begins to describe it. I just kept thinking “I have no idea what I’m doing.” I realized that by keeping her home (as opposed to taking her to the hospital) we were shouldering the entire burden of her welfare but I also felt like our knowledge of her made us the best people for the job. My wits found new ends. Thankfully I had Nurse Lisa to call and she educated me and calmed my fears. I also had calls from many of you…thank you.

Sunday: I woke up feeling optimistic about her condition. She was sleeping a little better and she seemed to be acting more like herself. Ritchie had to remind me of this throughout the day because I still had doubts and worries. Sometimes it’s been so hard to guess what she’s trying to tell us through her cries, whining and pain but today I had to remind myself that she’s really good at communicating and she was telling us by her play, her voice and her smiles that she was feeling better. She’s still a little wheezy, those dang teeth haven’t made it through yet and she’s sticking her finger in her ear but I think she’s definitely on the up and up. She’s gotten better at taking her medicine, cooperative even and she’s been a champ with all the different things she’s had to endure this weekend. Reflecting on it, it’s been good to see what a strong, patient and resilient little kid she is.

I just want to breath a sigh of relief and have this behind us. Hopefully soon.

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